10 Hardest Parts of Being a Single Mother

While I find single motherhood incredibly fulfilling and a far better fit for me than staying in a marriage that wasn't working, there are challenges that come with it. In a previous post, I shared the 10 best parts of being a single mom. Now, I want to paint a more complete picture by sharing some of the more difficult aspects, from my own experience.

I know I have it relatively easier compared to other single mothers

I’m lucky to have a co-parent I can work well with and that I’ve got a fairly stable financial situation. This blog post isn’t meant to cover every challenge a single mom might deal with—it’s just covers ones that stand out the most in my own experience.

Many of these struggles aren’t exclusive to single mothers, but they tend to come together in a way that can be especially overwhelming. Here are the 10 toughest challenges I’ve faced as a single mom:

1. Being the Sole Decision Maker

Constantly making decisions for everyone in the household is empowering, but it’s also exhausting. There’s no backup, no chance to turn off "parent mode”. I’ll be honest, I relied far too much on my ex-husband to make household decisions when I was married but one day I realized that I could do it as well, if not better.

2. Living in a World Designed for Couples

From social events to vacation packages, so much is built around couples, which can leave single moms feeling out of place. The constant reminder that you're solo in a paired-up world isn’t necessarily an inconvenience, but it does underscore how society still leans toward a traditional family setup.

3. Navigating Social Circles as a "Third Wheel"

Couple friendships can get tricky post-divorce. Who "gets" which friends, and do you even still fit in? Hanging out with couple friends can sometimes feel like being a third wheel, especially if they only plan activities as couples, highlighting the difference in lifestyle.

4. Supporting a Household on One Income

Managing a household on a single income is a delicate balancing act. Juggling bills, childcare expenses, and personal goals is a constant stressor. Budgeting feels more intense because there’s no backup source of income.

5. Figuring Out Holiday Schedules

Holidays can be emotionally taxing as you figure out the logistics of splitting time with your kids and ex. Negotiating a holiday schedule that’s fair, but still feels meaningful for your kids, takes a lot of emotional energy.

6. Facing Sexism During Major Purchases

When handling big purchases or home repairs, there’s a frustrating layer of sexism. As the head of the household, facing assumptions or being talked down to is exhausting when you’re already carrying so much of the burden. It’s strange and condescending to be treated as though I’m not an effective head of household.

7. Navigating Dating Carefully

Dating as a single mother requires a heightened level of caution. It’s not just about protecting your heart—you’re also considering your children’s emotional well-being. Deciding when to introduce someone to your kids adds an extra layer of complexity.

8. Balancing Dating with Parenting

Even if we remove the rollercoaster of emotions that can come with dating, the pragmatic part of making time to date can be a challenge. Finding a balance between your dating life and parenting is a delicate juggling act. Managing the dynamics of new relationships while trying to protect your kids from confusion requires constant mindfulness. You might start to question whether you’re dedicating enough time to either.

9. Managing Co-Parent Conflict

Co-parenting has its own set of challenges, and shielding your children from conflict with your ex can take a toll. Navigating these disagreements while keeping a positive atmosphere for your kids demands emotional strength and patience. What I have found to be deeply unfair is that just the nature of your ex being the parent of your children is going to afford them a lot of goodwill that perhaps they don’t deserve.

10. Handling Heartbreak While Parenting

Processing personal heartbreak while needing to be a steady support for your children can be tough. You’re trying to heal while being there for them, making it essential to summon resilience even in moments of vulnerability.

Being a single mother is full of ups and downs. While there isn’t any doubt that single mothers have so much strength, just remember you’re also human and it’s okay and normal to feel out of your depth at times.

These challenges demand resilience, but they’re also a testament to what single mothers are capable of.