Preserving Memories for the Kids- a Strategy for Keepsakes

A strategy for what to leave behind.

I had recently begun reading a book called “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” because I often think about how much I want to clear my space. I’m not morbid or anything I just know I don’t want to burden my kids in the future with all my stuff. And frankly, I don’t want to burden myself now.

What gets me is that having downsized from a big house to a smaller apartment (something a lot of divorcees do) I was so happy and excited at the thought of having fewer things to take care of. But even these many years later I still don’t have a great system in place for everything. I think because I’m still in the process of looking for a forever home to buy.

But my dream is to live almost like in staying in a hotel.

Where you have the bare minimum and things are easy to keep clean and tidy. I mean, I’m sure the room service and housekeeping staff are part of that appeal and that isn’t a part of my normal life, but I feel very comfortable living out of my suitcase and, in fact, it’s one of my favorite things about going on holiday. I’m not joking. I have a blog dedicated to my luggage and hotel stays.

One of the early chapters of “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” talks about when you’re attacking clutter, you want to make sure you don’t start with the photos and memorabilia because you’ll be caught up in it and things will take forever to clear out.

I understand that logic for some people. My brain works differently.

In my experience of tidying up, I never really get to what I deem the most special things because I always think, ‘I want to dedicate an appropriate amount of time to that.’ What ends up happening? I never get to it.

And for that matter, it’s hard to genuinely judge the random trinket that I ‘kind-of-like’ as I’m sorting through stuff, if I don’t already have an idea of what SUPER important things are hidden away.

My thought is to deal with the treasure first because then I have a clear image and knowledge of the weight of all my most important things. Having that literal baggage may make it easier for me to get rid of moderately useful things I feel lukewarm about.

I feel very strongly that I don’t want to burden my kids with a lot of stuff. I want them to know exactly what I intended them to keep and what I feel they may learn from.

Bags to Hold all the Keepsakes

Okay, I’m leaving them some literal baggage. But its pretty!

I’ve allocated for both my son and daughter a suitcase each. They’re my favorite bags and I’ve already told them which is theirs. When I’m not using them for travel they house the items that I want my kids to have. And look, I know the capturing and curating of these photos, books, notes and mementos will still continue but I feel better that this is a work in progress that I can change and add to.

I Print the Images I Want to Keep

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve changed phones and pretty much never see many important photos again because they’re almost impossible to access now. I’ve cut my losses with a lot of things. Luckly some of the good ones made their way onto Facebook or Instagram so I can download some version of them there, but I know better now to print the things that I might want to keep down the road.

The good thing now is that instead of developing rolls and rolls of film we can now be selective about what we want to keep.

Dealing With Baby Photos, School Photos, and Childhood Photos

I know people who have treasure troves of school art projects, clothing, toys and shoes that commemorate their children’s lives. That’s wonderful for them (especially if they have the bandwidth and willingness to care for all those objects) but it’s not for me.

After two short lifetimes of childrearing, all I feel I can handle are photos.

A year or so ago I bought a Kikki K baby album and a school years album for each of my kids and intended that all their most important photos would go in there. I’m minimalist when it comes to keeping photos. This is my preference. I do think it’s amazing when someone has an entire documentation of the city they grew up in and can trace their family back generations. I’m just not that way.

I figure most of what we pass down is in the care and time spent with our kids. What they have are relics that will help spark specific memories.

My first attempts to create some order, and avoid getting stuck on too much, was to start putting photos into the albums with double-sided tape. It’s just getting the job done at first. I at least feel better in this first stage that we have some level of organisation. Over time, maybe once a month I’ll revise and add in more, or even make a collection of handwritten notes for their birthdays.

I think this is kind of cool because it becomes the story that you’re leaving them. I think about what might be helpful for them.

Vacation photos

While I have a couple of albums dedicated to each of them, I also have some of us and our time as a family on vacation. You tend to take more photos when you’re away and I feel like a good way to capture those is with a photo book. I plan on doing these for them, again I’m culling and editing what I want to keep, and I plan on putting them in a softcover A5 size photo book. That’s like the size of a half sheet of paper. The good thing about this is that you can print out two when you do this so you can give one to each of them.

Your photos and mementos

I think we can only know our parents so much. I’ll probably ask my best friend to dispose of my journals (those are for my eyes only) but I will likely leave a few things for them like souvenirs that I picked up on my travels. These have tended to be homewares over the years including a small Turkish rug, porcelain, small leather pouches, a merino wool blanket and a few other things.

Travel photo books

I haven’t yet, but I plan to spend a week that I have off soon putting together a small photo book of the different trips I’ve done recently. I think that’s cute because if they eventually go to those places they’ll know what it looked like when I went there and have something to compare the time and space.

A single leather-bound photo album

It’s the one that I keep with only a handful of photos. I like to travel lightly, what can I say?

Books

We’re not going overboard here. I don’t know the exact number for each of my children but I think probably no more than 3 to 5 softcover novels will probably make it into their individual keepsake luggage. These are books that I’ve loved, reread, underlined, dog-eared, and that left a mark on me. I’m sure they’ll find me somewhere within those pages or either understand or wonder why different parts are written on.

A Special Note About the Future Care of What I Leave Behind

If you know me, you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that I also plan on including a note letting them know they are more than welcome to move on from the things I’ve left them if they are not actually meaningful for them any longer.

I want to remove the guilty or distress that could occur if anything happens to my memorabilia because that stuff is not me.

I have this thing about not placing too much value on things like that and being okay with letting go.

After all, you exist in the memories you share, the music you listen to together, the plays you watch, the rituals. Those are the places where I think they’ll see me the most when I’m gone. Not in these static photos or the random paperweight I bought (and love) from San Francisco.

I would love to know what items or storage ideas you have for mementos and what your keepsake style is in the comments. x