Practical Advice for Starting Over at Any Stage of Life
Life is full of transitions, some we plan for, and others that catch us by surprise. I, myself, have gone through a divorce, a career change, watching my children become more independent and a couple of moves all in the last 10 years.
Sometimes we feel a need to start over because we feel stuck or maybe it’s an unavoidable set of circumstances that are asking you to change, either way, starting over can feel both overwhelming and liberating at the same time.
While it’s natural to feel unsure about where to begin, embracing a fresh start is also an opportunity to reset, grow, and rediscover yourself. Here are some thoughtful and practical steps to guide you as you pursue your new beginnings.
Accept Where You Are Now
The first step to starting over is accepting your current circumstances without judgment. You may not have chosen this change, or you may feel regret about the past. But staying stuck in what "could have been" won’t allow you to move forward.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to grieve what you’ve lost. Maybe it’s a job, a relationship, or a version of yourself you’re leaving behind. Allow yourself to feel without rushing through the process.
Practice Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Starting over takes courage, and it’s a process that unfolds one step at a time. You don’t have to have everything figured out right away.
Focus on the Present: While reflecting on the past can provide valuable lessons, your power lies in the here and now. Ask yourself, “What is one small thing I can do today to feel grounded?”
Accepting your situation doesn’t mean you’re settling; it means you’re ready to work with what you have to create a new future.
Define What Starting Over Means to You
Everyone’s version of “starting over” is unique. For some, it might mean pursuing a new career. For others, it could be about reconnecting with themselves after years of prioritizing others. Take some time to define what this reset looks like for you.
Reflect on What You Want: Write down what starting over means to you. What areas of your life do you want to focus on? Is it your relationships, your personal goals, your health, or your career?
Let Go of Comparisons: Avoid comparing your journey to someone else’s. Starting over isn’t a race—it’s a deeply personal process.
Set Small, Clear Goals: Rather than trying to overhaul your life all at once, break it down into smaller steps. For example, if you’re starting a new career, begin with researching options or signing up for a relevant class.
Having a clear vision for where you want to go will give you direction and purpose, even on the days that feel challenging.
I will say, if you’re someone like me who gets overwhelmed with planning, there’s no need to spend too much time on this. Having a direction and 1 or 2 simple habits you want to build into your routine is a good start that can help you build momentum.
Build a Support System
You don’t have to start over alone. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network can make a world of difference as you move through this transition.
Lean on Trusted Friends and Family: Talk to those who uplift you and can offer encouragement without judgment.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: A coach, therapist, or mentor can provide valuable guidance as you work through your desired changes.
Find Community: Look for groups or online spaces where people are experiencing similar transitions. This could be career support groups, wellness communities, or even hobby-based clubs.
The support you need might shift over time, but knowing you’re not alone in this journey can help you build confidence as you take your next steps.
Prioritize Self-Care and Your Well-Being
Starting over can feel emotionally and physically draining, so taking care of yourself is essential.
Make Time for Rest: Allow yourself time to rest and recharge. Starting over isn’t about rushing; it’s about building something that lasts.
Create Daily Rituals: Small, comforting rituals like a morning walk, journaling, or quiet time with a cup of tea can help you feel more grounded.
Move Your Body: Exercise can work wonders for your mood, energy levels, and overall well-being. Find an activity you enjoy, whether it’s yoga, dancing, or hiking.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques like meditation or breathing exercises can help you stay present and reduce feelings of anxiety.
Even if you have lofty goals that you want to achieve, it’s still important to care for mental and physical health.
Rediscover Yourself
One of the gifts of starting over is the chance to rediscover who you are. This is a time to explore your interests, values, and passions.
Try New Things: Take a class, pick up a new hobby, or visit places you’ve never been before. Starting over is a chance to expand your world.
Reconnect with Old Joys: Think about activities or interests you may have set aside over the years. Did you love painting, reading, or playing music? Bring those joys back into your life.
Reflect on What Matters Most: What do you value most in this phase of your life? This reset can be an opportunity to align your priorities with your true self.
Allowing yourself to explore and grow will help you rebuild a life that feels fulfilling and true to who you are today.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
It’s easy to get caught up in wanting everything to feel “perfect” right away. But starting over is a process, and progress, even if it’s small, is worth celebrating.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge the steps you’re taking, no matter how small they may seem. Progress is built one day at a time.
Be Patient with Yourself: Change takes time, and there will be setbacks along the way. Treat yourself with kindness and grace.
Learn from Challenges: Instead of viewing mistakes as failures, see them as opportunities to learn and grow. Starting over means you’re trying, and that’s something to be proud of.
Creating a life that feels meaningful and aligned with who you want to become doesn’t happen overnight. Have some patience and confidence in the fact that you are moving toward a better future.
Trust the Process
Starting over is rarely linear. Some days will feel full of hope and excitement, while others might feel uncertain or even lonely. Trust that every step you’re taking is leading you somewhere worthwhile.
Embrace Uncertainty: Not knowing what the future holds can be scary, but it can also be filled with possibility. Try to lean into the unknown with curiosity.
Stay Open to Opportunities: Life has a way of surprising us. Be open to new people, experiences, and opportunities that may come your way.
Believe in Your Resilience: If you’re starting over, it means you’ve already overcome challenges in the past. Remind yourself of your strength and resilience.
Trust that this process will lead you to where you’re meant to be, even if you can’t see the full picture yet.
Starting over is never easy, but it’s also a powerful opportunity to create the life you truly want. By accepting where you are, defining your goals, leaning on support, and prioritizing self-care, you can get through this transition with courage and grace.