Clearing Your Home and Starting Fresh After a Divorce

Starting fresh after a divorce can feel overwhelming, especially as a single mother with little spare time. When you first move, it’s easy to bring too much from your past, unsure of what you’ll need. Out of all the things you have to contend with, sometimes a disorganized home is the least of your worries.

At some point though, once you get your bearings around your new life, you might find you’re ready to fully clean out your space. From my last move, it took me an entire year before I felt ready to find the time, but getting serious and dedicating a week to decluttering brough surprising benefits. Not only did I find things I had been looking for, but I’ve also found the home is so much easier to maintain and work in.

Better late than never

Sometimes I’d wonder why I hadn’t gotten to it earlier, but I know exactly why. I’ve been busy trying to hold things together and do daily life. It wasn’t until I had the incentive of people coming to visit me that it lit a fire under me to get it done. If you’re just doing it for yourself it’s hard to make it a priority but once you know that there’s a deadline of people coming over it has to be done.

Here are some ideas for you if you’re keen to spring clean or clear your home before the holiday season.

Give yourself one week

The idea is to keep this contained to a somewhat short period of time so that it doesn’t drag on forever. Dedicate a week to clearing out your space as much as possible and put things in cabinets if you need to. Once you experience a clear space you can see and feel how much better it is, how much easier it is to dust. My daughter even noted that the space seemed so much bigger.

Aim to clear your space

This isn’t about organizing, buying new plastic containers and having perfect shelves of folded clothes. If you’re overwhelmed with items hanging around your home, it’s too early to think about that. You’re just trying to keep your head above water, so to speak, instead of drowning in your own possessions.

What you want is for everything to be put away as much as possible. We all have little pockets of our home that work well, where we know where to find things. Keep those the same. And make sure the things that you use every day are accessible.

But save that, just start putting stuff out of sight. This is to help you with avoiding the perfectionist part of needing to find the right storage solution immediately. Also, it allows you to deep clean base boards, vacuum and mop more easily. You’ll get the benefits of a fresh space much quicker, and this can incentivize you to continue to make it a priority for yourself.

Find an easily accessible home for your everyday items

I know that I said this wasn’t an organizing exercise, but the exception is the items that you will use every day. If you bury these under other things you’ll constantly be creating a mess when searching for what you need. Imagine needing to dig for treasure each time you want to do a simple task. Exhausting.

For example, make sure you have a home for chargers, workout clothes, the things you might need in a week. This will keep you from emptying piles of things to find the one item you need.

A good rule of thumb for me is to think about what I pack with me in a suitcase. All those items that you would use regularly or wear regularly, make a home for them somewhere memorable and easy.

Be aware of how you’re spending your energy

You don’t want to fizzle out with cleaning so fast that it doesn’t all get done. For this reason, when I was clearing my home I reliably knew I could only deal with one main area at a time.

Decision fatigue is a real thing. If you’re aiming to do two areas in a day, focus on one in the morning, take a break and carry on with your other life responsibilities, then take on the next spot in the evening.

Do your bedroom first and your kitchen last

Having a peaceful place to rest your head at the end of the day is very rewarding. You’ll get a lot of bang for your buck if you start with the bedroom first. Don’t worry about laundering the sheets yet, just clear the clothes from the floor and extra things that may have wandered into there, same with the bathroom as that can be a sanctuary.

The bedroom is usually a more straightforward room, don’t be afraid to hide things in closets first as long as it is somewhat tidy and won’t cause an avalanche. You want clear walkways and good air circulation. It can really change the energy of a room.

The reason I suggest doing the kitchen last is that you’ll always be using it every day, unless you want to order takeout the entire week (which I wouldn’t blame you for). It’s deeply dissatisfying to clean your kitchen and then watch it swiftly be back in disarray after your kids have breakfast. Leave it for last once the rest of your home is clear.

Throw the cleaning masterplan out the window and make a simple list

Write down maybe two main areas you’ll focus on a day, and if you need to, put a secondary list on the side somewhere of other things you think of as they come up. This will help you from getting sidetracked. If you’re cleaning your room and then you realise the window sill needs to be dusted, write it down rather than go to it immediately. It’s so easy to get distracted and then you’ve expended a lot of energy and still have nothing to show for it.

One area at a time

For me the ensuite bathroom and my own bedroom was the easiest to start with and get things out of the way. This gives you that immediate satisfaction. The next day I tackled a bunch of bags and boxes that were in my work area. That took longer than expected. Next I did the TV cabinet. There were a ton of toys and media, I quickly sorted those things as donate, throw away or keep. Most things already fit better once I organized them or put them into shoe boxes. It was less likely that they would be pulled out and make a mess. The items were instantly more usable because they were in boxes that I already had on hand. Again, avoid buying organizing supplies at this point and use what you have so you’re not bringing any potential new clutter into your home.

One bag or basket at a time.

If you’re like me, it can be overwhelming to see a pile of things. So, I suggest taking one basket at a time and completely emptying it. Either put the item in its place, stuff it in a cabinet to deal with later, or toss it. If you have kids, things like Lego can be maddening, you find the stuff everywhere. Just find a keep all box where you can put the toys out of sight.

Don’t even think about keeping that box

If you’re dealing with a major clutter problem, you’re not yet a household that can keep a nice box. We all do it, especially if you have a creative brain you can think of a million ways to use a specific item. But unless you assign that item a use right now, just get rid of it. More containers and supplies will come your way for sure.

Minimise your donation trips

Again, try to do it all in one go, or just stuff it in a cabinet for later. Making these extra trips can be very exhausting and keep you from clearing your space. You will have time at a future date to bring things to the op shop (as we call them in Australia).

Clean the space immediately after you clear it

This will make the space feel complete. This means cleaning mirrors, glass, wiping away dust from the baseboards, vacuuming, scrubbing marks from the wall, etc. It will be a rewarding example as you move to the next spaces.

Your home is clear and refreshed, what’s next?

Now that your home is clear, take some time to enjoy it, get a new air diffuser, maybe a plant. It’s okay if your cabinets are still filled to the brim, as long as the items you need are within reach, you can relax for the moment and see how much easier it is to live life without all of the clutter around and having to step around things. Making sure the space stays this clear is now the name of the game. Here are a few things you can do to keep up.

Little bursts of daily cleaning

Spend a little time each day cleaning a different area of your home. Maybe you designate Mondays for bathrooms, or on Tuesdays you wash your sheets. In addition to the rotating maintenance, tasks like dusting and running the vacuum everyday might be a good idea. I work from home, so I like the idea of treating it like hotel room service where they tend to clean between 11am and 12 noon.  Vacuum, empty trash, freshen up bathroom. Etc.

One cabinet at a time

So, having stuffed cabinets is fine at the outset to make you feel good about the progress and so you see light at the end of the tunnel. I would suggest after a week or so, tackling a couple of cabinets a week. Again, until you’ve been through all your items, organizing is going to be impossible. You need to see everything that you have. Use the same strategy that you previously did when you were cleaning items that were out in the open.

Place the contents of one drawer or cabinet shelf into a laundry basket and focus only on what to do with those items. Store, toss or donate.

I realise this may take a lot of time if you’re only doing one or two shelves at a time but think about how much of a difference it will make in only a few months.

Think about dedicating a weekend a month to deep cleaning

Maintaining is easier than doing a complete overhaul like you just did. There are going to be times where you’re overwhelmed. Resetting on the weekend (hello, Sunday reset) is a good chance to get back to your clear starting point. Some weeks will get away from you though. And that’s okay, that’s just how life works sometimes.

Thoughts on organizing

I’m not a huge fan of organizing other than having things in a place where you can reliably find them. I don’t have the energy to maintain everything. I just want my place to look empty like a hotel with some creature comforts.

I love books and my luggage, and everything else I tolerate because it improves my life in some way.

For me personally, lots of stuff interferes with the ability to live the life I envision. I’m not trying to curate a museum, I want a launchpad for all my potential creative endeavors.

I get why people love organizing videos on social media. They happen to be very satisfying, like scratching an itch. But on some level it can become another form of overconsumption. And I hope that by the time you’ve cleared your home you can see how much of a burden having so much stuff can be.

Be thoughtful about what you bring into your home next

It’s kind of wild to think about how easily things can accumulate in our homes.

After all you’ve been through weeding out many of your obsolete possessions, I hope that leaves you with a sense of how much abundance you already have and whether or not you have the wherewithal to care for as many items that you do.

Theoretically, I would love to live with very few possessions. In reality, I have many books, more clothes than I wear and some leftover cooking utensils and appliances from a time when I used to bake more. I know that I’m in my downsizing phase though it’s a slow process.

Clearing space for a new life

Clearing your space after a divorce is about more than just tidying up—it’s about creating room to breathe in your new life. While it can be challenging to find the time as a single mother, dedicating even a week to decluttering can bring unexpected rewards. You'll not only rediscover your space but also make your home easier to manage and more enjoyable to live in. The process may seem daunting, but one step at a time, you’ll feel the emotional and practical benefits of a fresh, clear environment.