Your Guide to Surviving the First 3 Days After a Breakup
Breakups are never easy. Whether you’re the one who initiated the split, or the one wo received the news, the emotional turmoil can be overwhelming. Having been through this cycle more times than I’d like to admit, I’ve developed a personal strategy to cope with the immediate aftermath.
Now, this is what works for me and what my patterns tend to be.
I urge you to reflect on your past experiences (if you have them) to discern what might help you. But here’s a starting point for you to think about or work through if you’re currently going through a tough time.
Day 1: The Shockwave
The first day is hard because it’s the beginning of a lot of questions and uncertainty about the future. The reality of a breakup hits like a shockwave, disrupting your daily routine and clouding your mind with a mix of emotions. You might find yourself distracted, unable to focus on tasks that usually come easy. This disorientation is normal. If you were the one to end the relationship, you might feel a bittersweet mix of sadness and relief, having made a tough but necessary decision.
The cruel part is that even when you’re stopped in your tracks, life still continues to move forward. You might have obligations like being a carer or going to work. But if you have the chance to take rest, then do it and implement the strategies below.
What you can do:
· Allow yourself to feel: Don’t suppress your emotions. Cry if you need to. Scream into a pillow. Let the feelings wash over you.
· Gentle distractions: Engage in activities that are comforting but not overly stimulating. Read a favorite book, watch a familiar TV series, or listen to music that resonates with your mood.
· Reach out: spend time with a sympathetic friend who can offer a listening ear and a reminder of the good things in your life.
Day 2: Reality Sinks In
By the second day, the initial shock begins to fade, and the reality of the situation starts to sink in. The positive feelings from having made a change may wear off, and you might start to feel the weight of loneliness or regret. This is the day when the loss feels more tangible, and the emptiness can become more pronounced.
What you can do:
· Self-care: Focus on self-care routines. Treat yourself to a spa day at home, or refresh your wardrobe. These small acts can boost your mood and help you feel more in control.
· Stay active: Physical exercise can be a great outlet for your emotions. Go for a run, take a yoga class, or dance to your favorite upbeat music. The endorphins released during exercise can provide a much-needed mood lift.
· Vision boarding: Create a vision board of the future you desire. This can be a powerful exercise in hope and positivity, reminding you that brighter days lie ahead.
Day 3: Embracing the New Normal
The third day is challenging because it’s when you start to accept this new reality. The breakup is no longer just a disruption it’s a new normal. This acceptance is crucial for moving forward, but it can also feel like a heavy burden to bear.
What you can do:
· Clear the clutter: Tidy up your living space. Clearing physical clutter can also help clear mental clutter, creating a more peaceful environment.
· Socialize wisely: Go out with friends to a busy bar or café. Being around people, even strangers, can remind you that the world is full of new connections waiting to be made. I would suggest not trying to meet someone new on this first outing.
· Positive affirmations: Write down mantras or quotes that inspire you. Read them every morning to set a positive tone for the day.
Tips to keep moving forward
Of course, the process of getting over a relationship lasts longer than three days so here are some additional strategies to use to survive the days, weeks and months that follow.
1. Digital detox: Leave your phone in another room to avoid the temptation of checking for missed calls or texts. This helps you break the habit of seeking validation from someone who is no longer part of your daily life.
2. Engage in new projects: Dive into new hobbies or projects with friends. This keeps your mind occupied and helps you rediscover passions that may have taken a backseat during your relationship.
3. Stay connected: Keep your closest friends in the loop. They know you best and can provide the specific support you need to navigate through this period.
4. Seek perspective: Watch videos or read articles on why it’s important not to go back to an ex. This can reinforce your decision and help you stay strong.
5. Prioritize rest: Ensure you’re getting enough sleep. Rest is crucial for emotional recovery but be mindful not to linger in bed too long. Get up and start your day with a sense of purpose
Final Thoughts on Dealing with the First Days after a Breakup
The ‘First 3 Days’ approach isn’t a magical solution. We has humans don’t get over breakups that quickly. Sometimes you’ll be doing well and think you’re totally over the events of the breakup and then something will remind you of the good times and you’re in a rough state again. That’s very normal.
If you do decide to try this approach out I hope it provides you a practical framework to deal with the immediate aftermath of a breakup. That, yes, the pain is intense, but it is also temporary and that you’re capable of moving forward.
By the fourth day you might still feel the pangs of heartache, but you’ll also start to see glimmers of hope and resilience.
Remember, breakups are a part of life. They teach us about ourselves, our needs and our boundaries. Embrace this period of time as a chance for growth and self-discovery. You are stronger than you think, and every ending is also a new beginning. So, save this guide for when you’re going through a breakup, and know that you will emerge on the other side, ready to embrace the new chapter that awaits.